Love is Patient, Love is Kind.

~Love~

by literal definition:

(noun); an intense feeling of deep affection for another; a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. (verb); to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to another; to feel a warm personal attachment of deep affection for another

Weird…The most important part of the literal meaning of this word (as defined by the most modern definition books) happens to involve someone else… 

 

I like to define “love” simply as this:

An unconditional feeling of selfless admiration for another soul without gain of any advantages or benefits upon oneself; a selfless feeling received strictly by another soul’s pure satisfaction, happiness and joyful fulfillment from life, aside from the joys of their own self…

I like to use my own personal definition of the word “love”. Over the years, I have come to realize, many are confused when it comes to the meaning and sentiment of this word. Of course, many have never given much thought to the actual meaning behind the word. We (most of us) have all grew up just hearing the word over and over, despite being taught the importance of what lies in the meaning beneath the word.

I could actually go on and on with my own personal definition of the word, as there are so many emotions that arise when I take my mind to my dictionary. I have always envisioned this “love” as the very thing I’ve always treated it to be: nothing less than selfless. Of course, there are so many who treat it and live by it so very differently than I. I believe the word has been watered down and beaten upon to the point where it has no significant meaning to the world any longer. People have taken the sentiment of what it truly means, and they have discarded every inch of what it has ever stood for. I find it sad and in a way, sickening. 

Selfishness is something, I believe, is being taught to children today in place of the true meaning of love. I do not mean to say that parents are intentionally teaching their children to think of themselves first before anyone else, but I do believe that with lack of structure, obligation and follow-through with things in this, what we call 'life', selfishness becomes a learned behavior, and soon trickles down in generation. 

I was brought up in a home with nearly nothing. I won’t go into detail, but I and my family are very fortunate to be where we are and have what we have today. I’m not sure why I don’t carry around with me the selfishness characteristic as some do; maybe it is because I am grateful for how far I have come, and I know what it is like to watch my parents struggle. Money, food, clothes, shoes, etc - maybe not having the best of the best at one time and watching the act of having to stretch a dollar into 20 when it had to be done is probably why I find myself saying so often “I don’t care” when I’m given a choice on things. It is simply because, at one time, I literally did not have a choice.

I see picky people who won't eat this, won't shop here and won't do this and wouldn't dare do that, and I have to bite my tongue and refrain from asking 'why not.' I have found that the answer I've been given in the past just doesn't make sense to me. And I understand that it never will. I'll never know what it's like not to naturally think about the monetary aspect of something while someone else doesn't give a thought about it. My mind is different in that, it's been trained and brought up in a different way than most. And also on the flip, others find it hard to understand why I try to think realistically and do what I can to save just cents on the dollar when purchasing an item.

I’ve often wondered if I needed to alter myself in order to be the person I’ve always strived to be; the one with the happy face, with the happy life, and the happy family. But there’s no telling what kind of person they had to be through life in order to gain the things I see them having. That person probably don’t know what it’s like to have to compare prices to quantity, needs over wants, and whether or not something is a necessity to them vs. purchasing something for someone else JUST to see them smile. I always tend to choose the latter. I find myself thinking of others’ happiness before my own. And I have found that there are very few out there like me. I have found where this action should bring joy, more often brings resentment. And I have struggled with this for so long, thinking it was me who needed to change, thinking I needed to do something differently to prevent the resentment in some way. Then it hit me; the resentment doesn’t come from within me, it comes from the selfishness in others.

It is a hard pill to swallow, but I do have to remind myself, that instead of refraining from performing the good deeds that often bring this resentment, I need to continue on with doing them and pray for others in the process. It is a very hard thing to do, but over time I have learned, that God has a (weird) way of turning your heart into what it needs to be. Of course, it takes time; a lot of time. But what once was sorrow, turns to joy, and by the grace of God, soon comes love in every soul. Sometimes that love becomes intended for something worth so much more than what you 'wanted' to begin with.

Everyone deserves my definition of love, in my opinion. I believe that if everyone thought a little more of the people they tell they love, they would receive tenfold in return. I know for myself, I have a lot more to offer than what I'm giving. But I just like to think I’m saving it all up for what God intends to be worth it for me in the long run.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 
1 Corinthians 13:4-6